Its that time of year again folks, the ABS Nationals. The battle of the elites to see who is the best US-Citizen boulderer, and which three men and women will represent us Americans as “Team USA”
If that’s not enough to keep you glued to your seats, and assuming you are of age, feel free to play this great ABS Nationals drinking game. It’s been honed after years of viewing the live stream. EDIT: I’ve just been informed Big Pete Ward will not be available to commentate this year, so this may leave you more sober than intended. Come back Pete! We need you!
NOTE: All quantities below are based on dirtbag boulderer beer, Natty Boh if you are in the Crank Climbing region, PBR for… everyone else. If you are drinking stouter stuff, might want to dial it back.
‘Average Joe’ Pregame Warm-up:
– Drink 1 beer for each person you legitimately know who makes it into semi-finals. This only applies to un-sponsoredrecreational climber types – at the top all y’all know each other and you wouldn’t be conscious for finals if you participated in this round.
Finals Round:
Drink everytime:
– Drink 1 beer for each person you legitimately know who makes it into semi-finals. This only applies to un-sponsoredrecreational climber types – at the top all y’all know each other and you wouldn’t be conscious for finals if you participated in this round.
Finals Round:
Drink everytime:
– Someone is referred to as a ‘Darkhorse’
– Someone uses ‘Veteran Savvy’
– Someone suffers ‘the curse of the commentator’
– Someone suffers ‘the curse of the commentator’
– Someone is described as having any attribute ‘for days’
– The volume left in any ‘tank’ is discussed
– An outdoor climbing achievement is mentioned
– Two sips for every time an outdoor problem is mentioned by name
– Three if its ‘The Process’
– The volume left in any ‘tank’ is discussed
– An outdoor climbing achievement is mentioned
– Two sips for every time an outdoor problem is mentioned by name
– Three if its ‘The Process’
Take a shot every time someone flashes a problem.
Drink 2 beer if either of the winners are determined prior to the start of the last problem
Drink 1 beer if Daniel Woods or Alex Puccio win the US Championship Title but not the event
Drink 2 beers if Daniel Woods or Alex Puccio win the event
Drink 3 beers if a Foreign National wins the event (Sean McColl, Juliane Wurm, and Mohammad Jafari Mahmodabadi have proven this to happen)
And finally…. Waterfall (sip continuously) for the entire duration that anyone attempts to explain what the hell points are and how they work.
On a more serious note, I want to say Thank You all the people that make this event possible. USA Climbing puts on a hell of a show. LT11 works hard to stream everything live, and nobody should take that for granted. I saw Nationals live in front of my eyes in 2007, and for years after had to settle for highlight reels – we are truly living in an amazing new age where technology lets us stream an admittedly niche sporting event live to any device. Finally, thank you to Pete Ward and Brian Runnells and starting this year Chris Weidner. I may be poking a little fun at you above, but you guys do an amazing job, you’re both genuinely awesome people. Brian’s site, ClimbingNarc was the only climbing site that mattered to me for the last few years, and helped grow my love for the sport.
Enjoy
