“In space, no one can hear you scream” – The original Alien was an iconic thriller. Its sequel, Aliens, I’d argue was even better, albeit a shift to the action genre. And then there was Alien3, which, uh, was.
Masters of Stone III isn’t that egregious a step backwards, but it does open with the “Return of the Voiceover”, which is far inferior to those other third acts of similar name (ed: King or Jedi? There’s only one right answer). It doesn’t stop there, as your eyes are immediately met with a 3D animated lizard running, climbing, and riding a pterodactyl. As is required by law, what follows is a montage, and who doesn’t love an opening montage?
Our film opens properly in the land of the Mormons, Utah, with Boone Speed discussing what it takes to send 5.14 (in Mythos!). This might be the first time I recall Masters of Stone showing an indoor wall, albeit a tiny training cellar. Boone’s advice? Move fast to send hard. From there the film heads to the American Mecca of bouldering, Hueco, and unlike previous MoS films, this bouldering actually takes place over pads. Some of the most classic climbs are shown, including the definitive V2. Fred Nicole rocks a few mono pinkie pullups before hiking V12 in floppy Sportiva slippers (I never want to hear anyone complain about shoes again). Todd Skinner on Fred: “Its not like they’re better than us…. ok they’re better than us”
From here we enter much more familiar territory – California solos and rope jumps with DanO, Ron Kauk bouldering in Yosemite, and then something less common – the ladies sending proper proper hard. Bobbi Bensman and Shelly Presson put down a 5.13 each, marking the first time I remember seeing the women in a MoS sending with a number grade of the men, and with equitable interview time.
A quick jaunt sees Jim Karn bouldering over actual SketchPad(TM) in Colorado, with tons of dynos, era appropriate carpet squares, and a proper John Gill problem. If bouldering was silly at the time, Jim Gregg throwing down on stones epoxied to California’s aqueduct tunnels and dry tooling overpasses fits right in with the theme. Likewise, a ballet dance number on the side of El Cap with aerial silks isn’t climbing as we know it, but is still less abrasive to the senses than the professional wrestling of the previous installment.
The films third act is the most important – its the biggest departure, as the crew literally departs for France. Released in 1994, the American crags had already been invaded by the Europeans, who’s hang-dog techniques let them send all our hardest stuff and then some. I’m no expert on geography but it seems like Kauk got a good tour of the place, sampling a large number of locations from Les Gouges, to Buoux, to the Verdon, to Volx. While the music in this segment left some to be desired, the sends all fall near the highest end of the scale ever seen in a MoS up to this point, with French Powerhouse JB Tribout ticking a number of mid 5.14s while the cameras rolled, and previously special grades now undignified, as Ron ascends “an Unknown 5.13”.
I know I started this review on a snarky note, and some of that is earned. It was an awkward time with animated dinosaurs, questionable music, and shots that linger strangely – bouldering was ‘new’ and the videography techniques hadn’t been figured yet. However, for all those nits, this film truly represents growth for the series. While the majority of the action still takes place on the west coast, they do visit a wider array of locations including international travel, there’s clearly a transition from aid, trad, and the odd sport route to mostly sport and bouldering, and they’re starting to get a more reasonably diverse cast.
Verdict: Borrow It. While its aged better than previous installments, its still dated in many ways. But hey, dinosaurs.
The Who: Ron Kauk, Dan Osman, JB tribout, Bobbi Bensman, Fred Nicole, Jim Karn, Boone Speed, Gerhard Hornhagar, Shelly Presson, Todd Skinner, Sandra Studer, Scott Milton, Daniela Massetti, Robert Cortijo, Jim Gregg
The What:
Logan Canyon, UT
Supertweak 5.14a
Hueco Tanks, TX
Nobody Here Gets Out Alive V2
Daily Dick Dose V7
Moonshine Direct V4
Martini Right V12
Cave Rock, ??
Fire in the Hole 5.12 (solo)
American Fork, UT
Atmosphere 5.13a
Rifle, CO
Apocalypse 5.13a
Horsetooth Resivour, CO
Pinch Overhang
Lovers Leap
Purple Haze 5.11 Solo
Yosemite, CA
Thriller V9
After Midnight
The Force
Tuollome, CA
Blue Rift
