What is the optimal haircut for climbing? What should I ask for the next time I walk into Hair Cuttery? Just kidding – I’m an athlete, and we go to SportClips. Seriously though, when I started climbing, much like North Korea, there were only 3 acceptable haircuts, and I had a laugh reflecting on it recently, as I’ve never worn any of those during my climbing career – maybe that’s why I suck (lord I should write an updated list of excuses).
Bald \ Short Cropped
Its physics, right? Less hair, less weight, more sends. The best part of this haircut? Unlike the rest of this list that will take months or years to cultivate, you can shave yourself bald (or near-bald) tonight. Many notable crushers have occupied the space between the “number 2 guard” and full cue-ball, including the likes of Ben Moon, Biggie, Steven Jeffrey, and Gaskins.
Long Locks
Climbing is an “Outlaw Activity” and outlaws bucked the rules – Men (men!) with long hair?!? From the Stone(d) Masters era forward, long locks were all the craze. Bridwell, Bachar, Kauk, and later the likes of Dean Potter and Michael Reardon. I’m not talking the messy emo-mop worn by the youth today, I’m talking enough to put in a ponytail.
I need to put one other thing out in the world – a bonus for mullets. Why? Well, because look at Kurt Smith in all his glory. Just look at him. If you got a doo like that, you’re definitely the kind of person that got the 3rd ascent of Midnight Lightning
Dreadlocks
Ben Moon, Chris Sharma, Nate Biggie Gold, and the more contemporary Michael Mawem have all rocked dreadlocks. Unkempt dreads really matched the “I live in a van by the park” image that so many climbers personify. Oddly, the style seems to fallen out of the vogue, right around climbing making the Olympics and coming under WADA scrutiny, but surely that’s unrelated. In all seriousness, dreadlocks are a commitment, and a hairstyle that can survive a few days without a shower is perfect for roadtripping.
Honorable Mention – Jernej Kruder
Jernej Kruder needed a shout out here for 2 reasons, both shown below. Ivan Green worked the mohawk for a bit, but Kruder’s off-angle ‘hawk was something else. The shaved handprint got him on my radar, and making the second ascent of the legendary Es Pontas cemented him as more than a funky haircut.
Peak Climbing Hair – Jason Kehl
What if I told you someone had done the ultimate power-move. The Voltron of climbing haircuts. That’s right: part bald, part long, part dreads. Enter Jason Kehl’s dreadlocked skullet. While some would attack a climber with an iconic, cultivated, marketable image as being style-over-substance, I don’t think I’ve ever heard that sort of shade thrown at Jason. Probably because he nearly single-handed resurrected hard highballing, has made major contributions to Hueco Tanks, and shaped about every one of your favorite holds (less The Boss and the NKR1).
But What About the Ladies?
I’m not well educated in women’s hairstyles, and don’t want to give the impression that I’m judging in any way. What I will say is, pony-tails seem popular, both US Olympians and many others are rocking braids, single or pigtailed. While it seems to have fallen out of fashion (less Oriane Bertone) the notable crushers when I was younger tended to rock much shorter cuts, women like Angie Payne and Natasha Barnes (who last I checked was all about the “Power Mullet”). Genuinely dear readers, if any amongst you would like to contribute a similar piece on the women of climbing, click on guest writers and drop us a line. We can’t tell a lob from a bob and to try would just be an embarrassment.
In conclusion, if its time to finally cut off your quarantine mane, maybe consider who you want to channel with your next look…
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Kurt Smith. The answer is always Kurt Smith.
Justin Meserve has worn everything from a generic men’s cut, to a generic cut dyed blue, to an undercut, an undercut dyed blue, a faux hawk, a faux hawk dyed blue…..
