Crank Media Review: Smitten

Even though it might not be the first place that pops to mind, Australia has been the subject of a number of full length climbing films and even a Reel Rock segment, but most of those are yanks visiting the land down under.  Smitten is a film about Australian climbers doing a Australian climbs.

The first thing you’re going to notice about Smitten is the giant white rabbit.  Not kidding.  If there’s any storyline here, its that there’s a randy white hare. And a hunky lawnboy-slash-lumberjack. And a roadside mock-execution. Ok, so the opening and the interstitials are weird, but they’re amusing, as are the post-credit outtakes.

Theres a certain Australian sense of humor to the whole film – no serious faces here, more the tone you’d expect around the campfire with friends.  Sandbagging, ribbing, and sarcasm define the mood, as does swearing with a fair number of unbleeped f-bombs and presumably worse bleeped language. The climbing featured is hard, and you can tell even if you don’t understand the combination of V-grades for bouldering and Ewbank for the routes. Iconic routes put up by iconic figures are featured, including ascents of Gullich’s Punks in the Gym, and Dai Koyomada’s boulder-route Wheel of Life sees a legit kneepad-free second ascent.  The interview segments are worthwhile, and Monique Forrester’s interview is standout with insight as someone who’s climbed before, during and after pregnancy – an angle not often seen.

Technically, its a well shot film, with ample close-ups on holds (a pink-lock start!?), and multiple angles picture in picture at times. Even though they are harder to shoot, routes like Punks in the Gym and Groovetrain are compellingly captured.  The soundtrack is present where it needs to be, absent when the try-hard grunts are being made, and is generally electro-techno in flavor with occasional rock and groove elements.

The only thing that put me off about the film was the BASE jumping shenanigans. Combine a rope jump, just hanging onto the loops, then release and pull BASE rig… I’m having flashbacks to Skandy Lewis footage. Real talk, this part makes me genuinely uncomfortable – I’ve gotten away with a lot, and I know that processing near misses hits us all a little differently, but referring to a very nearly fatal accident as ‘a great adventure’ is pushing it for me. Maybe its an Aussie blase attitude that doesn’t read across cultures, or I’m just too uptight.

Best Quote: “I boulder because I like to fall off when its hard, not because I’m tired”

Verdict: Stream It, if you’re looking for something a little different, but don’t feel bad if you fast forward through bits.

Who:
Chris Webb Parsons
Lee Cossey
Ben Cossey
Zac Vertrees
James Kassay
Tom Farrell
Monique Forester
Jarmila Tyrril
Lucky Chance

Where (I know, some of these are redundant):
Blue Mountains
Mt Arapiles
Hollow Mountain Cave
Grampians
Sydney
Diamond Falls
Taipan Wall

What:
Routes:
Punks in the Gym
Outbreak
Theda Bara
White Ladder
Staring at the Sea
Mechanical Animals
Sneak Old Fox
Groovetrain

Boulders:
Mana
Last Action Hero
Zeus
J1
J2
Double Demerit
Tyler Durden
Wheel of Life

BASE Jumps:
Death Swing
Space Shuttle
Double Grimm
The Thumb
The Prow
The Plank