I see a lot of posts on Reddit these days asking the same question over and over:  “How do I transition from indoor climbing to outdoors?”  As far as I know, nobody has every done the public service of the converse – explaining to all those who cut thier teeth outdoors how to transition into the gym now that they are sprouting up like dandelions.  Fear not, I am here to be your guide to the intracacies of walls enclosed by other walls:

1. The Approach:  Depending on how densely populated your city is, this may be anywhere from Class 1 to Class 2, depending on if there is a parking garage, and if you opt to take the stairs.  Many of the gyms are located far off the main drag, tucked into industrial parks, so have your GPS handy.  The hike itself is made easier by not having to hump a rope, a rack, or a crashpad with you.

Machine Shop, Construction, Machine Shop, Trucking….. Gym!

2.  Fees and Other Charges:  Cost to get into the American bouldering Mecca, Hueco Tanks, for the day, $7.  Cost for a 7-day parking pass at Yosemite, climbing Mecca full-stop, $30.  Cost of a daypass at Brooklyn Boulders, $32.  Thats a bit of a extreme example, but the least expensive gym I’ve been to still clocked in at $12.  Many crags you can wander to for just the cost of gas, but be sure to bring your wallet to the gym.

3. Weather:  That money does buy conditions in a way that we can only dream of at the crag.  Warmer in the winter, cooler in the summer, and dry all year round, there’s no “season” per se.

Ok, ok, you were right

4. Safety: Much the same way you vet out partners, the gym has an interest in keeping the sketchy out, especially given the insurance and potential litigation costs.  Some stuff transfers 1-to-1; buckle your harness, cross-check your partners setup, use clear verbal communication. For as much as the trad-dads and ATGATT people will yell, choss is limited in the gym, so don’t expect to see many helmets. The only other caveat is the belay – you will likely be asked to demonstrate how to tie in, and how to belay.  Be sure to ask if they have any preferences or requirements; some places will let you roll with any number of safe setups, others will say thou shalt PBUS through a Gri-gri with a Figure 8.  While you might be king of Slip-Slap-Slide through a Stitch-Plate and a double-bowline, odds are a lot of the rules are flowdown from whatever insurance company has taken on the risk.

5. Routes:  Never wonder again if the holds you’re groping are the correct start holds on your mega-proj, or if that giant flake 8′ to the right is off-route, or on-route, or on-but-only-for-feet (*cough*LaRambla*cough*). If its on, it’s either marked with a stripe of gaffers tape (the right way – fight me), or its the same hue as the rest of the holds.  Beware the blues that look purple, the reds that look orange, whites that turn black with shoe rubber, blacks that turn white with chalk, and browns that disappear into the wall paint in ‘natural’ look gyms.  Oh, and one other thing:

6. Falling:  Falling in the gym is a breeze.  There are no sketchy micronut placements, no suspect bolts, and no runouts.  If anything there tend to be so many bolts you’ll spend more time clipping than climbing.  In the bouldering area it tends to be more of the same, with large padded floors, devoid of ankle swallowing seams. If you have mastered hitting a 4’x3′ postage stamp from a dozen feet up, be prepared to see some cringe inducing falls.  Many gyms teach climbers to hit feet first and then roll to their butt and back, pulling arms in to protect, which would carry you right off the edge of all but the largest commercially made crashpads in the wild.

7.  Creature Comforts:  Got your bag to pack trash out?  Don’t worry, there a can by the door! Usually bring a gallon jug? Behold the water fountain!  Master of the wag bag?  Please for the love of God leave it at home – there are real deal restroom facilities just yards away.  In addition to these perks, most will have a handy dandy shop stocked with chalk, brushes, Clif Bars, and potentially harnesses, shoes, books, and clothes you can’t afford.

8.  Grades:  There will be numbers, colors, something in ascending order.  Thats all I can or will say.

9. Projects:  Remember those 2 seasons you spent working Bills Shark Fin Special 5.9+?  Well unless your gym has a “forever wall” or a Moonboard, you can forget that.  Most routes and problems will exist for somewhere between 6 weeks and 6 months depending on your location.  The transient nature of the routes actually has its perks.  There may be something new to do every trip.  Your nemsis project will eventually be dismantled. Even Dave Graham himself waxed poetic about the inpermanence of bolted holds.

So there it is, your primer to transitioning from underneath the big blue skies to under the flourescent lights.  So next time the weather isn’t cooperating, or you find yourself strapped for time in the urban sprawl, give that gym climbing thing thats all over Instagram a shot. Just don’t stay too long; remember there’s still a huge world outside those four walls, and the sends are waiting.