You know what Jams My Cams? Me. My Ego. Or is it my Id? That little voice inside my head that tells me I am not good enough, that nobody likes me, that I am just wasting my time.
I’ve found my ego getting more and more in the way the more I climb. When working on a climb that’s stressing me out, I am quick to assign malicious intent to an innocuous remark, and short to suffer fools (or the unaware). I’ve yet to snap on anyone, but boy, if only they could hear what’s in my head….
“Whats that you’ve got there? Looks heavy. Is it a massage table? Is it full of beer?”
“Oh look, he’s practicing for climbing”
“Cool, are you working the V5 or the V9?”
Now, I don’t flash off because I have at least some level of control over my emotions, because I believe in Hanlon’s Razor, because I don’t want people walking away thinking, “Climbers are dicks. Especially that guy.”
And most importantly, because when I feel that negative energy well up inside me, I realize I’m in a negative space. I’m letting little shit get to me. I’m not having fun. Climbing is a hobby for me, nobody is forcing me to be out there, and if I am not having fun, why the hell am I out here? If attributing subtext to something said to me is ruining my day, that’s a me problem, not a them problem. But its the little things that get to me most.
“What are are you guys looking to get on? Some 5.12a’s?” he said.
Although his question sounded caring, even helpful, it got my hackles up – asking a stranger how hard they climb is, to me, as impolite as asking how much money you make.”
Offensive as milk.
2. They’re trying to be helpful. Maybe they sized you up and think they know a 5-star line that God himself carved out for your body type. This can backfire, I know I’ve done it at least once trying to make conversation with a pretty face in the gym, unsolicitedly suggesting a really well flowing V2 to someone who promptly avoided me the rest of the night in the moments they weren’t flashing my projects.
Offensive as milk to a vegan.
3. They’re a dick. This is an extension of the last one. Not only have they sized you up, but they’ve determined they are stronger than you, and they are gloating in their superiority.
Offensive as SeaWorld to PeTA.
The reality is, very very few people fall into this last category. Most climbers are chill folks, just looking for something physically and mentally stimulating to do in the woods. Next time you think someone’s judging you, stop and consider that maybe you are judging you. I know I will.
-Justin Meserve, is definitely too hard on himself, but at least he keeps smiling. Stay positive my friends.